A New Leaf
by AsterAevens
Summary: Five years have passed since the 'final battle' against Dark Oak and the loss of a dear friend: Cosmo, and Tails is not responding well to her death. Almost completely broken emotionally, Tails might have an idea of how to bring her back to life. Could it be possible? Contains mature content, reader discretion is advised.
1. Sleepless Nights

**I **

**Sleepless Nights**

It was very dark in Tails' workshop, the only light visible was coming from the full moon directly shining down past Cosmo's plant onto a very cluttered desk, at which Tails was sitting with his hands to his eyes. His two usually perky tails were lying lifelessly on the floor behind him. Tails hadn't been himself since that dreadful moment five years ago; nowadays, he spent most of his time cooped up in his workshop that, over the years, had become more and more bleak and gloomy. Many of the lights had either burned out or busted; his mechanized style was much darker than the colorful blue, red, yellow, and other bright colors of his past works; and the overall mood had a very unkempt feel to it as Tails rarely had the energy to get up and clean it. He had become increasingly depressed and unproductive over the past five years, making very little to no progress on any of his projects. Despite his emotional condition, few things kept him going every new day: his loving friends, who made relentless efforts to constantly boost tails' self-esteem, though, usually to no avail. The other thing was a rose plant, the one Cosmo had transformed into over the years; it was a stunningly beautiful plant with fiery red petals; smooth, green leaves, glistening gorgeously in the moonlight; and a long, slender body of bright green, the same color as her soft hair that Tails always longed to feel with his own hands, but never got the chance… and never will.

Tails finally lifted his head up from its prone position and looked up at a slanted clock that he had never bothered to readjust. "It's three A.M. I should really get some sleep." He thought to himself as he rose up out of his chair which made a rather loud creak. "Should probably get this thing replaced sometime." He grumbled to himself as he rubbed his forehead with his hand and started slowly towards his bed: an old, beat up looking mattress with grease stains and other unidentifiable spots and blotches on it lying on the floor next to his old biplane, the tornado. He had used this plane in many adventures with Sonic and the gang, but now, it just gathers dust. He stroked the cold, lifeless metal as he yearned for those days once more; he wanted to be the lively, ambitious fox again, constantly running (or flying) alongside his best pal, Sonic with knuckles not far behind, beating up Eggman at every turn. Tails shook his head. "Those days are gone." He thought to himself as he got onto the old mattress and attempted to go to sleep.

More and more hours passed by as they faded into one another, it even started to rain; Tails didn't seem to care about his surroundings, lost in thought, he trailed his vision off to the side in the direction of the rose, standing gracefully upright in the window with a glimmering essence, even though it was almost pitch black with no light to reflect. Tails didn't seem to notice, as he was more wrapped up in the beauty of the magnificent rose. "Man… what I'd do to just turn back time and redo those events. I would give anything." He thought to himself. "No. It's not possible; get those silly, childish ideas out of your head, Tails." A depressing sigh escaped his mouth as his eyelids hung down to about halfway. "I'm so tired of being tired." Muttered the fox ironically to no one in particular. After a pause and building tension in both the storm now raging outside and in his own self: "GODDAMMIT! WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR MY CRIES?!" screamed the fox out of nowhere as a harsh thunder and lightning combination crashed simultaneously, lighting up the night sky in an eerie, blue glow, also revealing the twisted, painful, tear-filled, equally blue eyes of the hurting fox. "I hear you, Tails, Please calm down." A familiar voice resounded in a soft but crisp tone inside the enraged fox's ears. "C-Cosmo?" Tails looked around the room desperately for the source of the ghost-like voice, but found nothing. He went to turn the lights on in a last-ditch effort to claim his nonexistent prize. "No one…" he sadly muttered to himself, tears returning to his eyes once more. "Am I hearing things? Have I finally lost it?" He questioned, trembling, with his hands to his head, taking a seat on the step on which he was standing previously, Giving deep thought to how and what that was.

"It had to be her." He decided, "But how?" He began to think again about how she could have done that. Was there a chance to, yet, bring her back? Thunder stoke again, disengaging the fox from his thoughts once more. "I should take Cosmo to a safer place." He thought, completely lost of all previous notions. The young fox snatched the plant with care and darted to the living room. He arrived and set light to the fireplace, then promptly sat down on the couch onlooking it with his beloved rose in his hands. The fire may have been warming, but Tails still felt freezing cold, as he had found himself feeling more and more often. He didn't care; he was used to it by now: the unnatural cold, the unending lost and lonely feeling. It haunted him like a ghost in the night.

The fox began thinking again, as that's all he seemed to do as of late. "Five years and still no answer." He grumbled. A sigh with a pause following. "Maybe… just maybe… the Chaos Emeralds… maybe they hold the answer." The fox speculated. "What are you doing, Tails? Attempting to screw with Nature's boundaries." He questioned himself. "Why should I give a flying fuck about nature and its boundaries? What has it cared about for me?" He rebutted. "The dead should remain so, Tails; you, of all people, should know that." He continued. "Fuck you! Fuck your nature! Fuck your… UGH! Fuck Cosmo… Dammit… she left me… left me to die inside… WELL I'M DEAD! I'm so… dead. God… why… how could you leave me like this?" He grilled, once again, to no one. "Have you, the right to even say that, Tails?" he asked himself. "Was it not _you _who pulled the trigger?" "I… I… no… you can't… I had to…" He said maddeningly with his hands against his forehead. "What else could I do? WHAT ELSE?!"

…Silence…

"ANSWER ME, GODDAMMIT!" He bellowed out with great sound, dropping his beloved rose to the floor, shattering the pot. "No… Cosmo…" He scrambled to the floor to pick up the mess as tears filled his eyes and he began weeping uncontrollably.

"I can't stand the pain, Cosmo… take it away… take it all away. The only thing I want to feel is you. You're all I want, all I've ever wanted, you're all I need. I NEED you, Cosmo. God… why… why did it have to be you…? I never even got to tell you how I actually feel." With another pause and no response (why would there even be one?), Tails gathered himself, or, at least, what was left, and gently picked up the flower, as he cared not about the mess. Why should he? The fox went into the kitchen and fetched a pot for the lovely rose; he also filled it with soil he was also curiously carrying in the kitchen. He planted the flower delicately into the soil and gave it water; it immediately stood back up. As Tails gazed at the flower with appreciation, he began to regain himself. "Now then… since I can't sleep, let's go find some answers!" He stated to his rose flower, now filled with life, not expecting a response.

(Total words so far: 1,311)

Hi there! Yes... it's my first chapter of my first story that will probably look terrible in a few years. BUT... gotta start somewhere! ^_^ Anyway, just make sure to try and leave a review; tell me what I did right and what I did… not-so-right… heh. But no, I would love to hear from you guys if it's well-received or nah.

I definitely plan on continuing this; in fact, I've already started on chapter two. And by "started", I mean like... a few words… haha.

(Subject to change: title, rating)

Feedback?

Feedback!?

FEEEDBAAACCKK!?


	2. Answers?

**II**

**Answers?**

The young fox boy was busy working with his little stubby nose in a pile of papers on his desk when he heard his voice called. "Tails?" A soft, familiar voice called out blindly. The sound had come from the direction of the living room. "Tails?" The voice called out once more. The aforementioned fox quickly leaped from his seat and rushed into the living room where he saw a wandering girl amongst some toppled over furniture. "Cos…mo? Is that… you?" The fox inquired with his eyes squinted at the Seedrian, almost as if he was seeing things.

"Of course it's me, Tails." She responded gently, afraid that her words would break the fox immediately, due to his increasingly deteriorating emotional state.

"But… but… how?" he asked in an almost disbelieving manner. "Nevermind, all that matters is that you're here, and that's all I've ever wanted." Tails continued, looking towards the ground shyly. Cosmo reached out to the confused fox's chin and leveled his face with hers. I'm here, Tails, and I'll never leave you again." Said the Seedrian softly as she smiled at Tails, staring into his blue eyes with intent.

She lowered her hand from his chin and raised her other, both headed to a very frazzled fox's hips. "Oh!" He exclaimed with a blush, looking to the side in nervousness, desperately attempting to avoid her gaze, but found himself, instead, glued to her beautiful, sapphire eyes, perfectly matching the color of his own. She stared right back into his, smiling at the fox with a slightly seductive look on her face.

"Cosmo… W-what are you… do-?" He was interrupted by a sudden and surprising kiss to the lips by his love. Rather than question it, he simply just closed his eyes and enjoyed it, unknowingly placing his hands on her hips as well, letting his tails start to wag back and forth, much like a dog. Cosmo chuckled quietly at this and began stroking her love's blushing cheek.

"You're adorable, you know that?" She asked rhetorically with a loving tone. Tails blushed even harder this time. What had gotten into her? Why was she suddenly so… The realization struck Tails like lightning to metal.

"COSMO!" The fox screamed as he suddenly awoke in cold sweat; depression washed over him once more as he realized it was... "Just another dream." He concluded sadly as a piece of paper fell from his forehead. Tails caught the paper upside down in his hands and flipped it right-side-up to examine it. The paper had diagrams of a lot of crazy stuff, amongst others were a Chaos Emerald, a flower, and some crazy looking machine that tails was probably planning to construct.

"That's right!" The fox shouted louder than he intended. A blush washed over him, even though there was no one else there watching him… or was there? "I was trying to figure out how I could bring you back, my sweet flower." He continued to the rose sitting just across from him on the paper-filled desk at which he was sitting at again. A slight smile returned to his face when he looked at the flower. "I love you." He stated with another blush. "Just you wait! I'm gonna figure this thing out, and once I do… we'll be together… finally… together once more."

"Man… what time is it?" He finally asked himself as he glanced at the clock, still crooked from before as he still hadn't fixed it. "two forty-fi-wait, WHAT?" The fox was utterly baffled. "wasn't it… three… last time I looked at the time?" He questioned with a confused expression. "ugh… damn clock must be broken." He deducted with slight disbelief. "But still… it shouldn't have… gone backwards…?" tails rubbed his groggy, blood-shot eyes and took another look at the clock. "2:45" It read the same as before. "Hm… let's go take a look." He said to himself as he started towards the clock. He stopped dead in his tracks. "Man… I've really gotta stop talking to myself… people might think I'm crazy." He mentioned to himself ironically.

"Agh…!" Tails exclaimed as a sudden bolt of tiredness hit him like a rock; his eyes grew blurry with his body shaking and he felt as though he was about to fall over. "Jeez, am I really this tired?" He questioned, knowing it was probably something else that he rather wanted to avoid thinking about. "Whatever, screw the clock, I'll fix it later. The clock responded with an electrical sputter as the whole house went black.

"Great… just great. Blackout. Better go start up the emergency generator." The little fox, very frazzled from past events, started towards the area where the generator was, tripping over random bits and bobs on the way to. "Should've brought a flashlight with me, dammit; I can't see two feet in front of my face."

"Oomph!" He exclaimed as he finally bumped into a large red machine with pipes and cords going off in every direction it seemed. He managed to make out a large lever over a few feet from where he was standing which was currently flipped to "OFF". "Alright, let's get that power flowin'." He said with a hint of fake stupidity in his voice, almost imitating his best bro, Sonic as he flipped a large lever to "ON". They would do that sometimes, imitate one another, to poke fun; he found himself reminiscing of old times once again as he said this.

Suddenly, a large blast of light traveled through the house, returning power to his abode, but most importantly, to the lamp, lighting up the beautiful rose sitting on his desk. He smiled as he laid eyes on it once more. "Cosmo… so beautiful. Even in this form, I cannot avoid gazing upon you."

The fox had only started walking back to his desk when suddenly… SMACK! He fell to the floor, confused. "Did I trip?" He questioned, equally as confused. "No? nothing to trip over, I must be getting really tired; I can never seem to get any sleep anymore." He paused for a second and started right back to his desk almost as soon as he had stopped. "Gotta figure out these answers." He thought to himself determined as he sat back down at his desk.

As he sat, he felt another sudden wave of tiredness and fatigue wash over him. "Could it be… no. I kicked that long ago, why would it… be back…?" The young fox, with a worried expression, opened a drawer in his desk with papers stacked up high; he removed the papers to reveal a syringe with a blackish brown liquid inside and a few other capsules with liquid of the same likeness. He held the syringe up to look at it better, lightly releasing some of the excess liquid built up on the tip of the needle. His heart began beating faster and faster as he watched mesmerized as very pleasant looking dark liquid fell to the floor. "Should I…?" He started with heavy breaths and bloodshot eyes. "I guess I'm not as 'over it' as I thought I was." He deducted. "I gotta stay strong, what would the guys think…?"

"Oh, but Tails… it's so… good…" He tried to persuade himself, now shaking uncontrollably.

"No… NO! I can't! You can't make me. I won't-" He tried to refuse, but interrupted himself.

"Just one shot. You know you want it." He said back to himself in a whisper.

The fox begrudgingly moved his hand holding the syringe with the shadowy liquid incased slowly towards his inner elbow of the opposite arm, shaking nonstop the whole time; he was moving almost as if his mind was being manipulated to do so.

"I-I… I can't…" He said shakily as he lowered his hand down to his side.

"You're a fucking coward; a spineless weakling. I knew you wouldn't be able to do it." He said with disgust towards himself. "Let me take over. Just… just for a little bit." He said in another whispered voice. "Don't you want to feel good again?"

The fox maddeningly clutched his head with his free hand and brought the syringe back up to look upon it once more, his whole body shaking furiously.

"That's it… just a little… bit… more." He said in an almost silent tone.

"Tails! Stop!" A third voice insisted suddenly, causing Tails to drop the syringe to the floor, shattering the glass and spilling the black liquid all over the floor beneath him.

"Who-who's there?" The fox questioned with both hands to his ears. "Go away! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He screamed, shoving everything off of his desk, as it tumbled onto the floor next to said desk.

"God… her voice… it haunts me, even now. I think I've finally gone insane."

The soft voice spoke once more. "No, Tails, I'm here." Out of thin air, a holographic looking Cosmo appeared. "Tails, I'm still alive, in that plant. Please… you can't let it die… because then… I die." Tails was overjoyed when he heard this. "So… there's a chance to bring you back?" He asked, expecting her not to know the answer. "Yes." She responded, much to Tails' confusion. "Right now, I'm still growing, and I won't be reborn like I was until another few decades."

Tails' face washed over with sadness once more. How could he wait that long?

"But, Tails, if you use the pow…" Cosmo's voice started to trail off until she disappeared completely, leaving a sad, confused Tails to guess at what she meant to say.

"No! Cosmo! Come back! Dammit… so… close." He smacked his forehead against the hard desk in ire. He didn't mind the physical pain it caused, it distracted him from the unhealing, ever increasing emotional pain that had remained stagnant for so long inside him, and was destined to persist like that throughout his life.

"You're always so close, but just out of reach." The fox said paradoxically. He sighed depressingly and sat back in his chair, looking out the window to as the rain still pattered against the window. "The night is seeming to go on forever… I can't wait to see my friends tomorrow."

As the hours slowly ticked away, the sleepy fox finally found himself slipping into a slumber; he was definitely ready for the night to be over with.

* * *

(Words so far: 3,041)

HEY GAIZ! New chapter out; I do hope you enjoyed, as I'm pouring my whole heart into this one! 3

Anyway, yes, I will bring Cosmo back, and if it's not the next chapter, it'll probably be the one after that. Then, there'll be so much Taismo you won't be able to HANDLE it! :D I'm just trying to set everything up for what I hope to be a very long and convoluted story plot.

* * *

*sidenote*

the 'black liquid' I was referring to is black tar heroin if you couldn't figure out what it was.


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